Thursdays are there for you. She looks after your need to escape the week's routine, while giving you a taste of entertainment that is usually only reserved for the patient weekender; Thursday's version of TV is unstoppable. From reality (Survivor) to reality (sports - hockey, basketball, golf, even the odd round of NHL) to reality (hours of great Nat-Geo and Discovery) to everything in between (history still remembers laughing through Friends and Seinfeld even as it is gifted the Office, 30 Rock, and Community with a side of the drama of Grey's or CSI or the Mentalist).
And Thursday doesn't seem to ask for a lot in return, or more importantly, spend much time claiming to 'be something'; not like the rest of that selfish seven day spread, with its labels and taglines. Monday is all in your face with garbage euphemisms like 'start of the week' and 'new beginning', when the truth is Monday is the return to work, the death of Time-Off, and the furthest possible point from 'a Break'. Mondays are pure Evil and don't seem to apologize for it. They just hope they can distract you with a little NFL and the elusive Stat Holiday. But by the time the Monday Nighter is even on, it is practically Tuesday anyway. It just tastes bad coming off my tongue: Muuuunday. It is a lost cause. Try and ignore it.
At the other end of the work-week is team Friday-Saturday. A lot of flash coming from these two. This one-two punch of carefree fun answers all questions with a mindless scream: 'WEEKEND!!!'. It's your chance at freedom from the punch-card; it's new movies, it's concerts, it's fancy-pants dinners, it's day-trips, it's running, biking, hiking, blading, riding, and playing (unleash the grass-stained boy or pig-tailed girl within), it's endless parties without early mornings, it's reading during a rainy day, turning up the heat and hiding from the snow, or catching as many rays as the sunny summer can pour down at you. It's your escape from the grind. But at the same time both Friday and Saturday are also grounds for boiler-room style pressure to perform. These two are drowning in the hype that fuels them. Friday and Saturday let you forget the rest of the week, until of course they have disappeared on Sunday morning, leaving you abandoned, needing more. They are the week's drug of choice, exposing you to the glamour of what you now can't have for another 5-plus days.
Wednesdays. Hahaha, come on, really? Look at this Calendar Reject. The fact that the name 'Hump-Day' stuck just says it all; a middle child praised for simply existing. Wednesdays are when you no longer can hold onto last weekend's energy and can't yet feel the promises of Friday. It's boring and bland and faceless, and that's on a good week. When Wednesday is on its game you can expect the most concentrated disaster of work that the week has to offer. Everything is warmed up after the cold start on Munday and there's just too much time left in the 5-dayer to let off the gas. Wednesday is like ugliness; the best you can hope for is a paper-bag with eye-holes, a nose, and mouth, or at least some industrial clown-paint and dark sunglasses to cover things up a bit. But rarely does a distraction hide Hump-Day's inner b!tch. If you could punch a day of the week, Wednesday would never escape the 10-count.
'The Day of Rest' has a nice ring to it. The words float over you with a calming seduction, lulling you into a rejuvenating R&R while Sunday plots its big reveal: 'End of the Weekend!'. Although it is still a day off, it's tough to ignore how close Monday is (Munday! Stop infecting my week); procrastinated homework loves a good Sunday, so do the pieces that Friday and Saturday have left you in. It's the first hint at the new week, and with each passing hour, the need to prepare for the 5 day stretch fills you with loss. No wonder people go to church on Sunday...
This leaves us with Tuesday and Thursday. Both are their own day and have carved out an identity for themselves, but Tuesday is well below the radar. It is too close to Monday and is sandwiched in by Wednesday that it can't really escape the surrounding pessimism and negativity. Tuesday is guilty by association, but isn't free of blame as it really doesn't put up any sort of fight. If it weren't the staple for media release (new music and the high-def on Blu-Ray), I'd have no time for Tuesdays. Congratulations, you aren't Monday or Wednesday.
Meanwhile, amidst all the chaos and disagreement of the other six days, Thursday confidently smiles. It has latched onto the fun of the weekend and is, in my mind, the Renaissance of the 7-day-stretch. Having learned from the mistakes of the rest, Thursday isn't too flashy or too volatile, doesn't want you to suffer or leave you vulnerable, won't punish you with ennui, and every now and then leads into a nice, long weekend. Thursday has it all figured out.
As you can tell, I have had these vague ideas floating around my mind since life made me distinguish one day from another. Understanding how the week affects you is a science, it's like being able to read the matrix. The key is the realization that before anything is even scheduled, these crafty little journées are spreading their influence all over you. Happy ____day...
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