After reading a short post made by the Washington Examiner's Online Opinion Editor title 'In Iran, Adultery causes earthquakes. In the West, it's Global Warming.' (article linked below) I was inspired to take action...
http://www.washingtonexaminer.com/opinion/blogs/beltway-confidential/In-Iran-adultery-causes-earthquakes-In-the-West-its-Global-Warming-91399134.html
Yep, makes sense to me. In fact I don't like to define myself to a single culture, I wish to be open to all the beauty that our planet (which we and the farting cows are destroying) has to offer. I believe that we are to blame for these terrible and tragic Earthquakes; adultery is up one million gagillion percent since the time of the dinosaurs, the planet is so hot because of our greed and 'Large Old' and the use of tanning beds, that even L. Ron can't convince the Aliens to return to do their probing, and the pirating of media has distracted the protestors from demanding that the government implement their secret special anti-Earthquake technology, which they absolutely have but aren't using so that the Rich can get richer!
I am going to do my part to stop the Earthquakes and save the planet from being murdered by humans (the truest of the world's viruses) - I will drive a smart car fueled by my own bio-waste, will become a Buddhist vegetarian level 12 yogilaties master, will practice celibacy, abstaining from the temptation of all humans, animals, and minerals, I will promote the recycling of energy by making a vow a silence, communicating only through the art of Signing or the art of watercolor painting, I will go technology free except for the use of my magic bullet blender which I will use to blend delicious veggie-fruity smoothies which I will donate to the hungry and the homeless and the hungry homeless and the homeless hungry pets that have been beaten by fat rich fascists, I will live with nature like they do in Avatar, and I will love everyone because life is beautiful (except over-paid professional athletes, and rich selfish celebrities, and red-necks, and skinny people, and corporate criminals, and their lawyers, and their lawyers' wives who choose to be married to them, and their own wives for the same reason, and the town of Southpark and it's children, and aggressive wild bears, but everyone else I will love like they were my family, because we are all family, especially Al Gore and Sean Penn, but not Tiger Woods though, he's worse than the Nazis, but most of us are family...)
Chose to save the planet, Kumbaya,
Johhnh (I have changed the spelling of my name, the other way of spelling it was forced on me by society)
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