Quarter-Life Crisis

I'm almost 25 (that's Almost 25, I still have plenty of youthful 24 to take advantage of). Over the last few months I have been devoting some thought to my upcoming Quarter-Life Crisis. I take this milestone event very seriously, and don't want to simply jump into some sort of crazy decision... I want to iron out the details of said crazy decision first. The MID-Life Crisis is easier to figure out, there are solid road maps available; hair-plugs, Porches, new 20-something trophy wives (for the divorcées - edgy? I know).


















The Quarter-Life melt down on the other hand is a tricky one. I've toyed with a few ideas:

1) Get really Fat, go on the Biggest Loser, get skinny, and win big money... to buy food and get fat again (see, this could in fact be recycled as a Mid-Life Crisis later on).
2) Learn to play the guitar, quit, give it another go 3 months later, quit, and then continue the cycle well into my 30s.
3) Smash a guitar (this would follow the above, ideally after a few cycles have run their course).
4) Sell my belongings, cash out my savings, burn the money, and wander off with out a plan; 'Into the Wild' style.
5) The above option, but without the burning of the money, and the ominous 'Into the Wild' reference, sooo Travel.
6) Become Tony Stark... or Bruce Wayne, really either one would get the job done. Batman does get to wear a cap though... hmmmm.
7) Learn to juggle swords, or fire, or swords on fire, Oooo, or Chainsaws!!!
8) Learn to cook, Eat the food, become Fat - (refer to item 1 above).
9) Get into flying kites, or building models, or constructing 3D puzzles - Ooooor continuing to not do any of these activities, and feeling Great about that choice.
10) Join the C.I.A. as a spy (cause this is something you can simply choose to do).
11) Get Nun-chucks.
12) Become an astronaut and walk on the moon (you need to shoot for the stars... or the moon in this case).
13) Go on Survivor and befriend Jeff Probst.
14) Go on Big Brother and try to evict Julie Chen.
15) Go on the Amazing Race and punch a Travelosity Gnome.
15) Join the circus.
16) Learn to not count '15' twice.
17) Pull off a Heist.
18) Eat more Candy.
19) Take longer and more frequent Naps.
20) Become a dominant Board Game player.
21) Continue to be Awesome, always.

The key is to commit. It's about wandering well out of your comfort zone in search of the big rewards regardless of the big risks. It's about a touch of regret with a taste age, as the invincibility of youth begins to slip away. It's also about being a huge goof, and wanting a little more attention (I'm a Quarter of a Century Old, Look at Meeeeeee!).

















The truth is 25 doesn't bother me. The day will come and go and aside from blowing out the candles and getting a few extra B-Day hugs (and loving having a Party that's all about Me), I will be the same person. It's a nice round number, it's five hands worth of fingers (Oh, add it to the list: return to describing my age by the finger... I'm This many), it's five years away from Thirty and fifteen years away from Fourty (which is the new Thirty). It's that age where you're old enough and young enough at the same time. It's an exciting piece of life that's action-packed with uncertainty, potential, enthusiasm, and an eagerness to search for more. I didn't ask the question before, but I'll ask it now: Am I ready to embrace my Mid-Twenties? Like a Shark embracing a weekend Surfer. (Perfect, add it to the list: 'Learn to Surf'... wait, 'Learn to beat up a Shark' then 'Learn to Surf').

Italy - 100km Later...

My phone buzzed. I dropped everything (which in this case was a piece of toast and a good chuck of the newspaper). It was a new text message with the latest update:

'Almost finished! So far so good. If he stays on pace he could get 7:50 and a possible Canadian record for the masters ultra! Will know within the hour.'

MomVsWild (my Mother and seeker of great adventures) was keeping me posted with updates on the 100km Ultramarathon World Cup as the race unfolded. This year's event was being held in the Tuscany region of Italy, so while I woke up a little early for a Saturday, the sun was starting to disappear on the athletes over seas.

WebbRacer (my Father and avid participant in this crazy sport) was chasing down a Personal Best and was working on the climax of the story. A story that was full of heavy training, mental preparation, race strategizing, and hours and hours of logged miles. This is not just jogging (or maybe it's yogging, I don't know, the J might be silent); this is a daily running streak that stretches out over a quarter of a century, this is the determination to qualify for the Canadian National Team, this is molding a runner's body into an Enduro-Machine that's injury-free, this is 100 kilometer battles in 35 degrees of Celsius heat, city-to-city slogs through the Open-Heaven-Downpours of B.C.'s winter season, and spirit -crushing defeats in the midnight wilderness of the Lost Souls Eco-Challenge-on-steroid's 100miles of mayhem. This is what happens when foot races are taken to the next level. This is the underground of running. This is a way of life that is being showcased. This is a full day of travel, halfway around the world to tackle a 100 kilometer test with the best that Long-Distance Planet Earth has to offer. This is the Big Dance. And as WebbRacer faces the last leg, and MomVsWild helps to manage the chaos, I wait thousands of miles away, clutching my phone, hoping this is not just jogging, that this is IT!

The next text came flying across the ocean with such force that I could feel the excitement all the way from Italy. 7:39!!!!! I was floored. I couldn't believe it. WebbRacer had crushed the race and destroyed the idea of disappointment with a strong Personal Best on the 100km track. He was the first Canadian to cross the line, and finished 32nd overall, IN THE WORLD. It was way too early on a Saturday morning for me to be this excited, but I was, I was ecstatic. Later, news from the finish line told of the extreme conditions that left casualties in the wake of an intense Tuscan heat. And while racers were reduced to the Death Walk, WebbRacer pulled from his Edmonton Scorch-out 100k that had turned him into a full body cramp a year ago, and pushed on, slowly moving up through the ranks. The struggle hit at the 85km mark, but in the words of WebbRacer, 'It's all about the struggle'. He had spent most of the race in a constant fight, trying to maintain his pace and not indulge in the faster speeds, and the result was a later 'struggle point' and enough juice left in the tank to complete the Personal Record.

Meanwhile MomVsWild was in high demand playing Support Crew. In a 100 kilometer race, it's not just the Runner and the Elements, it's the Runner, the Elements, and the team that helps them live through the experience. Fluids to hydrate, Foods to fuel, a calculated balance of electrolytes, new shoes, clothes for all conditions, and most importantly the motivating words to convince someone that 'to keep running' is a better idea than not to. Race Whisperer. MomVsWild first had a hand in the very involved preparation that is required for a team of 11 of these crazy Ultra runners. During the race itself she manned the Aid Station and then essential became a triage nurse as victims of the long battle crossed the finish line in slightly better shape then Horrendous.

In the end, win or lose, race or crew, hot, cold, rain, wind, Italy or anywhere else, the result is the same; Exhaustion, and lots of it.

The latest update from MomVsWild and WebbRacer has them transitioning from 'Recovery' to 'Vacationator', as they begin to explore Italy's non-race scene. The fall-out for a Personal Best hasn't been debilitating, but it's taken time for team Webb to come back to life. The plan for the second leg of the trip is to experience Florence, then Rome, and finally London. And after a time of 7:39, I'd say the Folks have earned a bit of a holiday.

Over the passed few days, as I've updated the rest of the WebbRacer Fanatics on the World Cup success, my mind has wondered to the wounder of the event. 32nd overall. My Dad qualified, ran, and ranked with the best in the world. Out of the billions and billions of people on the planet, he finished 32nd. 32nd!!!! I am beyond proud, and have been telling anyone who is anyone who is Everyone who is willing to listen, that my Old Man ranked among the best of the best. I'm just happy to have been involved in such an achievement ('involved' in that I happen to share the last name, and have run along side the WebbRacer on occasion - for significantly shorter distances). And here's the best part; with this result, WebbRacer is looking at a qualification for next years Worlds in Belgium as well as the Commonwealth Games in September. Today it's all about the 7:39 in Italy, but the excitement is far from over. Stay tuned for more from WebbRacer and MomVsWild when they are next seen in '2009's World-Class Doubleheader'.

Congratulations to Richard Webb, and his extensive team (Marie Webb)!

Post-Script Note: 'Old Man', HA! What a Riot! Cause that's what 'Old Men' do, they run 100km in sub-8hours...

Go to the MomVsWild blog for all the first hand stories of the Race and the Days leading up to the Big Day:

http://momvswild-marie.blogspot.com/

"Dexter Style Killing"? Yeah I have a problem with this.

I dont' know what I'm more disappointed in; the fact that someone thought it would be a good idea to play copy-cat to Showtime's serial-killer-of-killers Dexter, or that they did such a horrible job of it. The Edmonton Journal reported that a 29 year-old filmmaker and show enthusiast (also reads 'Deeply Deranged Lunatic Nutcase Fanatic') has been charged with the murder of a man that went missing three weeks ago. It was reported by Police that Johnny Altinger was lured to a detached residential double garage in the south of Edmonton under the pretense of rendezvousing with a girl he had recently met on-line. Oddly enough this garage was the same garage that had been recently used to film a short movie, by Mark Twitchell (the Dexter-Loving creative mind that felt it was a good idea to base this alleged murder on a project he had just wrapped... at the Same Location!!).

The whole scene is a disaster. First off, if it feels like a stretch to believe that a 38 year-old man would agree to set a first date location with a girl he met on the internet at a garage, how far fetched is Twitchell's ridiculous plotline? If I'm watching a movie and the main character thinks this is a good idea, I'm dropping the old 'Come On, Really?', and then I'm pulling the plug on it. It gets worse because not only did Twitchell first film the scenario (what as some sort of test-drive or trial run?) before following through with the real deal (allegedly of course... still no body to be found), but it looks as though this was his second attempt at bringing his film to life. Two area residents reported seeing an individual fleeing the garage on October 3rd, being chased by a man wearing a black-and-gold-painted hockey goalie mask (a mask that was later found in Twitchell's residence after it was used in his film... come on Mark, are you kidding me?)

If it wasn't bad enough that Twitchell advertised the whole event in his movie, he also went ahead and spent some time alluding to his Dexter-ways on both Facebook and his MySpace page, refering to himself as 'Mark has way to much in common with Dexter Morgan' and 'Mark is set to Evil'.

How Creepy is this Guy? And how badly does he want to be Dexter Morgan? Messed up.

So at this point we have two issues thanks to Mark Twitchell; the first being that he is running around doing a horrible impression of Dexter, the second (and the more serious of the two) is that he has provided support to those who disapproved of the television's portrayl of a vigilante hero. When I first brought the premise of Dexter (seriel killer who kills killers) to people I knew, there was a variety of responses that resembled everything from 'Sweeeeeet, I love this guy already!!!!!!' to 'Yikes, I don't think that's sending the right message at all'. But what many viewers realize soon after getting hooked on the show is that Dexter doesn't focus on the Right-vs-Wrong of being a Vigilante, but rather involves the subject. The show is driven by complex characters, clever writting, a twisting plotline, and a devilish narrative that allows the audience inside the head of the intriguing Dexter Morgan. The Showtime series spends about as much time highlighting Dexter's vigilante night-life as Friday Night Lights does football. Sure in FNL's case the show's shell is a high school football team, but you don't need to be the guy who watches eight-hours of NFL every Sunday with the option of a couple bonus quarters on Mondays, to enjoy the strength of the Dillon Panther's team dynamic, the adolescent dilemmas, and the intricacy of human behaviour. Dexter Morgan follows a strick code, continually battles with his Dark Passenger's hunger, and is constantly faced with The question of the Vigilante way of life. What Dexter is not, is some Loony-bin Applicant that runs around in a black-and-gold-painted hockey goalie mask, poorly re-enacting his own troubled fiction. My hope is that Mark Twitchell is seen as a Crazy Person with one too many voices in his head, wanting not to make a movie, but to be a movie. My fear is that the show Dexter will be in anyway associated with this ridiculousness. The unfortunate thing is that most people won't get the chance to see passed the 'Filmmaker charged in 'Dexter' killing' headlines, and will question whether or not a show like Dexter should be on TV. The answer to that question is a definite yes, the answer to the other question (should the Mark Twitchell's be allowed to compare themselves to Dex?) is an outstanding No.

Dexter - Season 3 so far

It was recently pointed out to me, by a committed student of the Dexter Morgan Cronicles, that everybody's favourite Forensics-Superhero/Big-Hearted-Murderous-Monster is not just a participant in the dilemma of Good-vs-Evil-vs-Right-Wrong-and-the-Inbetween but is also a great teacher of Life Lessons. In a recent episode of the Showtime Fav, Joey Quinn, the new slick Dic on the Miami Metro scene, made magic and manipulated the masses by defending Miserable Masuka in front of the Police Department Big Wigs. Suddenly a hero, Quinn was the same guy who caused poor Vince Masuka to tailspin into a self-doubting disaster when he bluntly told the querky forensics nerd that people didn't like him. As my Dexter Confident informed me, this was the second time in as many episodes that Pretty-Boy Quinn had exercised his charasmatic muscles, vaulting himself out of a person's bad-books and right on to their Best-Bud list. Previously on the 'Quinn Smooths Things Over' show, he had stepped up to bat for Deb after underminding her (aka using her shamelessly to snag the win on their latest case) and once again made everything alllllll better. The guy is good. The Dexter Analysts give the technique two thumbs up, pointing out it's brilliance in being able to identifying the person's 'hurt' and then filling their 'need' (some classics being the need to feel 'important', or 'valued', or just 'all warm and fuzzy inside').



My goal of course has been to have everyone love the Jackson, and so far things have gone pretty well; minus a few broken hearts and Bold-worded e-mails (have you ever received Hate Mail in your e-mail inbox, no one needs that, wireless yelling, it's both hurtful and impersonal all at the same time). BUT you never know when you might need this type of 007 charm to calm the waters. DEXTER!!!!!! Entertaining and Educational.



After what was arguably a flawless rookie season, I've been trying to ignore the fear I have that one day the series will get caught in it's own clever web and become a cliche of itself. Half a dozen episodes into season three and the show still ends with me dropping the old 'Best Show on TV!!! Period!' I'm really intrigued by this season's new Puzzle Piece, Miguel Prrrrrado, and have been trying to see how he'll fit into the overall Dexter-Picture. In both season one and season two, when someone was introduced to Dexter's Dark Passenger, they had pretty serious issues occupying their own scene; Dex's Bro was taking the 'Family Business' waaaaay too seriously, and Lyla was a complete lunatic psycho (who Roophy's themselves? that's a new level of crazy). But Miguel is an upstanding citizen. Sure he's hungry for justice, and is a little down on the System, but the guy is far closer to 'Normal' than some of Dexter's passed confidents. This might actually make Miguel the scariest addition to Dexter's secret world, and the most interesting. Plus I love all the other stuff that season 3 is offering; Dexter the Dad and Hubby, Deb and her Criminal love interest, Angel's new position of power vs his pursuit of Miss-Bad-A$$-Cop-Lady, Masuka's Feelings, IA and the mysterious Quinn... and what's the deal with buddy who's collecting trophy skin patches off his victims? Great stuff, really great stuff.






















If you're not watching this show... wow, just stop reading now, rent the first 2 seasons, and don't stop watching until the Bay-Harbour Butcher has been taken care of.

The Halloween

Ah Halloween... To be honest I miss being a kid when it comes to Halloween. I also miss being a kid when it comes to fist-fights over missed calls during marathon games of hide-and-go-sneak tag, and watching four and a half hours of Saturday morning Cartoons while sitting two feet from the TV, but there's something extra special about the connection between Halloween and being a kid. It's just not the same Holiday when you're a grown-up (and yes, I consider Halloween to be a major holiday). I miss the trick-or-treating extravaganza with a gang of friends, I miss drowning my house in black and orange decorations (aka making a huge mess), I miss all the themed events leading up to All Hallows Eve at school, and I miss the Candy. Oh wow, do I miss the Candy. I mean lets face it, where else are you going to find this kind of deal.

'Sooooo I have to agree to run around in a costume with a bunch of my pals, yell at random houses as I make my way down the street, and people will give me Candy? Lots of Candy? I don't even have to ask for it, all I have to do is give them the 'code'? I can commit to this idea. Let's do it!'

Now there's a good exercise for developing work ethic in children; higher effort and efficiency yields better results. I wanted the Candy, and I was willing to figure out how best to get it. At my trick-or-treating best, when I was in peak trick-or-treating form, I was developing detailed neighbourhood street plans in order to map out my route. I had everything timed out, I had alterations to my costumes to allow for speed, I was resting up prior to the event in order to improve my performance. I actually recruited people to my trick-or-treating gang based on their ability to endure hours of high energy Halloweening within a structured and rigid schedule. We were great. It was a good time to be a kid and a good time to love Candy. The night's success was easy to evaluate: Fun plus Candy equals Awesomeness. In a good year I had Halloween Candy holding me over until it was time to search for Easter Eggs. This is the Halloween I love, and this is the Halloween I miss.

The 3 Amigos... My Tyler Durdan Get-Up was a huge success. Fincher and Pitt would have been proud.

That was then, this is now. Times have changed. Most years my routine is to watch a Scary movie or two while giving out candy to newer, less awesome versions of my past-self. So I can't run from house to house anymore, doesn't mean Halloween is over for this guy. At this point all I can hang on to from the 'good old days' is the costume custom. (I am going to make a great Old-Person, at 24 I am already exaggerating my past and loving the 'how things used to be' stories). It's basically an excuse to play dress-up and act like what ever crazy character you've decided to become. That is my Halloween motivation; to play dress-up. So whether it's dishing out candy to miniature Spidermans, hanging out with friends who are all 'way too old to Love Halloween this much', or wandering through a crowded night club where 'Freak' is the norm, I will be in a costume and I will be loving it. I am will to say that if it wasn't so socially unacceptable (as in I would get institutionalized) I would be at my desk right now, with a light-saber at my side, one with my inner Obi-Wan. Times may have changed, but I am the same Candy-Hungry, Costume-Crazy, 20-something Hooligan, and I will always love The Halloween.















I'm not Drunk, I'm 'Pirate'. Basically I had the Hair for the Part... what choice did I have.

Where am I?!?!

I found this tall tale to be worth sharing because it excels in the three major categories needed to qualify as a "Story Full of Awesomeness":

1) I can relate.
2) I know it to be true.
3) I am still laughing about it.

There are of course other important categories that a story can touch on, like 'Unbelievable-ness' or the 'Get Out of Here!' trigger, the 'gross-out factor', the 'You Dog You...' quality, the 'Obvious Lie' approach, the '...AND the Guy Got the Girl' punch-line, 'Massive Irony', 'Clueless Stupidity', 'Unbearable Embarrassment', the 'Awwwwwwww' induced response, and of course the 'Hero' and the 'Villain' drivers. Now forget about all that. That's not what I'm talking about, because this story doesn't get into any of that (well maybe a bit of the 'Clueless Stupidity', and perhaps some of the 'Get Out of Here!' mixed with the 'Unbearable Embarrassment'). Either way, for now know this, the following is true. It involves real places, and real people, and real ridiculousness. For the sake of privacy, I have replaced the name of our Brave Narrator with 'Ronald'; partly because the name sounds noble and proper and should provide an amusing juxtaposition to the stories overall journey, but mostly because I think it's a fun name to say. Give it a try: "Ronald... RonAlllld'. Beauty.

Here is the email that I received the other day in all its glory:

October 8, 2008 2:40 AM

Greeting from Munich (or München as they call it here- I try to use those double dots every chance I get).

The tales I'm about to recount are the result of tossing a naive traveller into the bowels of Europe forcing him to learn on the fly, and mess up royally even more often. I can't promise to make you laugh, or cry, or any other type of human emotion, but I can say with certainty that at some point whilst reading this email you will say to yourself "Ronald, you dumb motherf**ker". Let me set the scene for you: I'm huddled on a desolate train platform in Poland clutching my backpack like a baby koala holds onto its mother at the top of a Eucalyptus tree, just hoping the next train will get me out of this mess. "But Ronald" you might ask, "you never told anyone you were going to Poland". I know this. I believe the best way to summarize the events that got me here is a list of lessons I learned that day:

-There is more than one Frankfurt in Germany; one is located centrally on the Rhine river while the other is very close to the Polish border.

-A person travelling on a very fast train in a foreign country should not sleep unless they are absolutely sure they are going in the right direction.

-My Eurorail pass is not valid in Poland.

-Getting reprimanded for not having a proper board pass is scary, getting reprimanded in Polish is even scarier.
-Getting kicked off of the train onto a platform where nobody speaks English makes you feel like a dumba$$.

Mistakes such as this lead to a very long day of travel...

So I ended up getting to Frankfurt at around 12:30 in the morning (the right one), but for awhile there I thought I was going to have to build a lean to and spoon my bag in the middle of nowhere.

Aside from occasionally getting lost (just like home...) I'm having an awesome time. Germany is an amazing place, and Oktoberfest is beyond anything you could ever imagine. It's insane. Oh yeah, and in Frankfurt some old dude (like really old, almost frail old) tried to put me in a headlock in the middle of a pub. Thank god for my cat like reflexes...

How's Calgary?

ps: You better start winning some floor hockey games- I'm a free agent at the end of the season and I'm entertaining some very tempting offers from Russia.

Ronald

This email was titled "Add Poland to my list of 'countries I've accidentally been to'..." Below is a map that emphasizes Ronald's Interesting approach to finding Frankfurt.


















I still laugh, but only because I know the joys of losing ones way in Europe. Just over a year ago when I was juggling maps and jumping from one train to another, my brother and I managed to take the 'unintentional scenic route' well over a dozen times. In fact if we found our hostel without passing it three to four times first, it was a disappointment... (check out a few of the 'Webb mis-adventures' in our Europa Blog)


Neil and John Punch Europe in the Face!:
http://eurowebb.blogspot.com/2007/07/paris-london-you-know-just-your-average.html

Rock Band Worries

The following is an exchange of emails littered with anxiety, desperation, and fear…


Wednesday, October 8th, 2008 – 9:13am

Hey Buddy. I have managed to get myself into a Rock Band Competition at work. I don't know how this happened. I was standing chatting with a couple of guys at our company’s General Meeting, and rock band came up (the company is participating in a United Way campaign, and the theme is Rock Band). I thought it would be appropriate to tell my '7 hour of Rock Band' story (I told you about this one right? Where I was on the drums all night, blistering up my hands and wearing down my arms – I don’t regret it for a second, the pain was worth it, and in no way am I embarrassed that I played Rock Band for 7 hours straight… on a Saturday night… with two other dudes… ). Well next thing I know, one of the guys I'm telling the story to has stopped some Random and casually said “Oh hey, here's a guy for your rock band group”. That guy talked to another guy who talked to some other guy who needed a guy but hadn’t be able to find a guy, and they all figured I could be that guy and should be that guy. Just say no right? Wrong, I’m That guy now. Anyway, this morning I was sent a list of songs. I'm playing guitar. Do you have any suggestions as to which might be easier for me to play on Medium. My ‘Band’ is going for the gold and basically told me to make it happen, ‘no pressure of course’, but yeah, make it happen. And when I say ‘easiest to play’, I mean ‘the song that will disguise the fact that I have no idea what I’m doing and I’m doing it in front of all my co-workers’. Oh right, and more importantly, can I come by your place on Monday next week to practice just a little. If we’re being honest, at this point, I am somewhat concerned.


Wednesday, October 8th, 2008 – 10:30am

Hey dude, that is quite the pickle you are in. Do you mean this coming Monday? Because I might have some bad news. To be 100% honest I think I'm going to be going on a hike during the day and then of course having a big Thanksgiving dinner, so probably no go there. As for the difficulty level of the songs you should be alright on Medium for any of those. Weezer is good, Garbage, Hole, one of my favourites is the Fallout Boy one. Hahaha, I cant believe they have an actual “band”…


Wednesday, October 8th, 2008 – 10:34am

I’m not panicking, just throwing out suggestions here: Would it be possible to borrow your PS3? I'm out of town until Sunday night, so Monday is really my only opportunity to make sure that I don't Suck on Tuesday. Because between 'Suck' and 'Not Suck', I'd prefer the latter. The 'Band' has decided to play ‘Garbage - I think I'm Paranoid’. And I am now playing Base. I was told not to worry ‘it’s much easier then Guitar’ – perfect easier then impossible, now I’m in great shape (a lot of sarcasm there, sarcasm with a strong hint of terror). We do get to dress up in costumes, which I'm sure I will excel at. I just don't want to go onto the stage cold (that's right, there is an actual stage).


Wednesday, October 8th, 2008 – 12:57pm

Yeah I guess we could swing that…. Is this some sort of competition? Like how is there a stage?


Wednesday, October 8th, 2008 – 1:02pm

It is definitely a Competition. People are taking this waaaaay to seriously. The pressure is on. They have the PS3 hooked up to a projection screen and it's all on an elevated platform (stage, a freakin stage, crap I need to stop thinking about this) in our main building’s atrium. There were hundreds of people watching on Day One (which was yesterday), hundreds!! Day two (which is when my band, 'Dude Where's My Band', is performing) is on Tuesday. You would be saving my Rock Band life if I could borrow your system on Monday. I would take very good care of her. I know how much that bad boy means to you. I think with some practice on Monday I'll be ready to destroy the competition (I am trying a new approach to this whole thing; forced confidence).


A series of phone calls were made. A pick up was scheduled. Several hours, one blister, and one Rock Star later the big day came. The following is a message sent out to all the Fans (I needed to update Mom and Dad)…


Tuesday, October 14th, 2008 – 1:27pm

Hey Team,

We came, we performed, and we were chased off the stage. The reality of the situation was that we failed out twice and never completed more then 30% of the song. The spin that we're putting on it is that the system did us in (Blame the Man!!!!). Both runs at Garbage's "I think I'm Paranoid" had our Vocal Lead failing out quickly, and we hadn't had the chance to bank any Star Power, so we couldn't save her. Look at this, I'm truly embracing my inner Rock Star as I start throwing band members under the 'tour bus'...

A few positive points:
1) I was quite awesome. I challenge the song with the Hard level, and for the minute or so that we played I was really on top of things.
2) It was a tone of fun. I was glad that I got up there, in front of the masses, and gave it a go.
3) Excellent stage presence. My costume really sold the persona, and I was movin to the groovin, tossing out cheers and getting the crowd going.

I only wish that we could have played for a bit longer. In the end I'd like to send a special thanks to my Rock Band coach and mentor, you know who you are, for giving me the opportunity to reach for the (rock) stars. Realistically I'm just glad it wasn't my fault that we Failed miserably...

John 'Bon Jovi' Webb


Tuesday, October 14th, 2008 – 2:01pm

That’s really good news. As long as it wasn’t you failing out then you did your part. Did the vocalist do it on hard as well?? Because hard difficulty for vocals are very very difficult and you have to be very accurate. But that’s sweet, I cant believe they put this on. How were the other “bands”. Hahahha and I appreciate the shout out, that’s usually all I ever ask for.


Tuesday, October 14th, 2008 – 2:24pm

I was definitely the most excited about our 30% completion Failing, my goal from the beginning was to 'not suck'... mission accomplished. It really was all about the Sunday-Monday practice sessions (and by 'practice' I mean 'study' – my brother and sister have midterms so I was approaching my big Rock Band debut like a test, they did not like this comparison). I think our Vocalist may have been on Hard. It was funny, cause she’s actually a fairly accomplished singer, and was really confident. She wasn’t very confident after getting destroyed by a video game, twice, in front of hundreds of people. In the end it was probably for the best that we burned out quickly, cause all the other bands were made up of full-time gamers, gamers with Mullet Wigs. Thanks again for lending me the PS3, you saved the day.

















I learned two things from my Rock Band Competition experience: I make a great rock star, as long as I don’t have to play a real instrument, and by the time you are performing for people, on a stage, in a costume, Rock Band is really just a small step up from ‘competitive air-guitar’… a line I will never cross.