We should get together and compare Hair Styles...

So you are on the bench, deep in the darkness of the dug-out. Lately the challenge has been to master the Dying-Moth, a complicated and delicate Sunflower Seed Spit. It's cozy, you're with your friends, you have the best seat in the house. But something is missing. Dying-Moth or not, you long for more. Suddenly the Manager chokes out your name through a cheek full of chew. 'Jack! Git ur ass in therr!' This is it. Literally time to step up to the plate. It's what you want, it's what you've trained for, but it's been so long since you've swung the bat in front of the real deal audience that your confidence hesitates. A couple of shaky practice swings later and you're starring at the pitcher starring at you. Excitement, anxiety, a pounding heart, a sweaty grip, the refocus of a jittery, wandering mind - you're in the game. Time to man up.

I've played some little league, crushed a couple of 12-foot arcs, and each year I'll fast forward through the one-sixty-plus to get to the post season of the MLB, but I don't play baseball, so who knows if I know what I think I know when it comes to that pressure-cooker of a 'you're up to bat' scenario. What I do know is that after warming the bench for months, with not so much as a look from my metaphorical Manager, I had to make sure I didn't pull something when I jumped up and answered that 'Git ur ass in therr!' call. You can't really plan for this stuff, that's what makes it so interesting, that's when you know you're really living, that's why you just have to be ready to always bring the swing...

The following is an excerpt from a documented email correspondence between Jack Webb and one of his associates known only as 'Matty'.

Hey Matty,

Yep, this is me, emailing you from an office (okay fine, it's a cubicle, but it's spacious and without any sign of a fourth wall, so it has a certain je ne sais quoi). This is how it when down: a Friend of my Dad emails my Pops and says he knows a guy, Rick Webb then forwards the intel, and I magic together a one-two punch of Jack Webb Coverletter-Resume. A very small handful of days later I get the call, it's meet and greet time. An interview, offer, and contract later... employed! After weeks and months of silence, the job scene in the Webb World cried out 'Suit Up'! (NPH in HIMYM) But even the unexpected isn't entirely immuned from the unexpected; I get blind sided by a new job, and the new job gets hit right back with a surprise week of vacation. 'One week on, One week off' is the way to go Matty. I started on a Monday and by the next Monday I had traded chairs - Office for Beach. It made sense to me. Work for five days, go to MeHico for seven, then belly back up to the desk for a few more 9-to-5s. But the plot thickens. As my tan and freckles fought the Calgary Climate, I had to scramble to empty out the board shorts and sandals and upgrade the gear to mitts and long-johns. It's the Sand-for-Snow 2010 campaign. Next up the Fernie Weekend, forecast: Fun. So 'Whyyyy soooo SErious?' (Joker-esque) you might ask. Well, this busy little song-and-dance has distracted me from the important things in life: the Bromance. When was the last time team Matt-and-John took to the town? Don't answer that! It will only stir up the happiness of treasured memories and remind us how long it's truly been. All I can say is, we must do better. But I'm not worried, cubicles and sandy beaches and engiNerd field-positions (not as dirty as it sounds) can't break this covalent-bond of awesomeness. Distance and Time and 'King Kong ain't got sh!t on me' slash us (Training Day). Can you feel it Matty, the anticipation is building, and the world will not be able handle the reunion. Hombres and Beautiful-Babies (Swingers) alike will know that the heat is coming when we again meet face to face, compare rockin' hair styles, and accept the challenge: to tear it up! Until then, 'I will see you there or I will see you on another time' (I Love You, Man - epic bromance flicker)

With a Big Exaggerated Hi-5,

Hi-Jacked!



The following is filed photography documenting Jack Webb's recent activity...



What happens in Cabo, Stays in Cabo. Unless of course you own a Sanyo Xacti with 9 megapixal still photography and 720p high definition video capabilities...

This is where all the problems of the world are solved, on the chair, up to the top of the next greatest run of your life. Fernie, it never disappoints...



MattMas 2008: (from left to right), Matty with the '90s studs, the crazy eyes of a MattMas diehard, a pink-scarfed cowboy look that wears Jack well. MattMas is much like Christmas, but with a different colour theme (light green & pink), and instead of celebrating Christ, this is a celebration of Matt...


Jack-in-a-box... or Jack-in-a-cubicle... bringing the business...



End of transmission...